Sometimes Postpartum Doulas themselves struggle to explain what they do, why their support matters and what it looks like. The most common answers include something like “emotional support, baby care and light housekeeping”, but that doesn’t come close to what Postpartum Doula support feels like. It doesn’t explain what makes us different from a night nanny or a newborn care specialist. It isn’t as easy to put into words as Birth Doula support, but it’s just as important if not moreso.
Postpartum Doulas build relationships with their clients and families. They get into the heart work that parenting a new baby is and come alongside families as they adjust and learn their babies. When emotions are raw and recovery from birth is hard, when no one is sleeping and roles have changed overnight, our Postpartum Doulas ease anxiety and instill confidence.
Do we sometimes do light housekeeping or assemble baby gear? Absolutely, but it doesn’t look like a chore list when we come in the door. It looks a lot like the attuning we do emotionally and anticipating the needs of everyone in the family. It looks like helping a new dad feel confident with baby wearing, so we strap on the Lille carrier and he wears a giant pickle jar while the baby naps. If I’m at an overnight shift and everyone is sleeping, I’ll look around the kitchen and see what needs to be done before I head in to rest myself. If I know trash day is Wednesday, I’ll empty diaper pails on Tuesday night after everyone is settled. If I see there are towels in the dryer, I’ll fold them while the bottle warmer runs it’s 4 minute cycle and then feed the baby. If it’s a day shift and I notice the same linens on my client’s bed from last week, I’ll strip the bed and put fresh sheets on while we talk and she feeds the baby. Some of the deepest heart-to-heart conversations I have with clients happen while we both fold baby clothes on the couch or they have a bite to eat while I wash bottles and pump parts. Often it’s holding a tiny baby, so her parents can shower or have a nap at the end of our shift together.
Sometimes a client will ask me to look at the baby's latch or help with breastfeeding positions, so I will, but once they’re settled and feeding I don’t go off in search of chores to do. I’ll climb up in the bed with them or sit on the floor next to their chair, to ask the important questions…”What do you feel like you’re doing really well this week?...What are you struggling with the most with this week?...How is communication going with your partner right now?...How is big sister/brother adjusting to the new baby?...What can I do to help you feel at peace today?” Then I listen, without judgment and we truly connect.
We fill in the household gaps and help to create routines that fit each family, but we also open dialogue about hard things and validate feelings. We teach parents how to be the expert in their baby and trust their instincts. We guide them to learn their baby’s cues and feel just as capable as we are. Postpartum Doulas foster relationships, but we also foster rest, healing, and bonding. We create a safe place where tears can flow, parents can truly enjoy their babies and confidence grows with each visit.
Schedule your phone consultation today to see how our Postpartum Doulas can support you.