I Prayed For This...

Today Judy turned 8 years old and I’m just as reflective as I was on her 1st birthday. So often Eric and I still look at each other with tears in our eyes because she is here and she is really ours. Even on the hardest days, we are so grateful for the responsibility and adventure this kid brought into our lives. I wanted nothing more than to be her Momma and to live this life with Eric.When we’re elbow deep in sass and spice, I remind myself that there was a day that I prayed for all of this.

I Prayed For This…

When a Kidz Bop song starts playing during my workout 

When I ring out wet Barbie hair into the tub 

When there are sticky fingerprints on the window 

When she puts her hands on her hips and shouts 

When I’m folding tiny socks for hours 

When the door slams and I sigh 

When the bath mat is sopping wet 

When the cat is painted pink and so is she 

When the school Principal calls about unkind words 

When she beams after a perfect living room cartwheel 

When bedtime can’t come fast enough 

When we snuggle in bed on Sundays 

When she cooks alongside me 

When she’d rather watch her iPad 

When she brings me “Duck Duck” when I’m sick 

When she packs her lovey in my suitcase before a business trip 

When she jumps out to scare her Daddy with a “Boo!”

When I’m the inpatient one 

When we both have to apologize 

When she calls me Mom instead of Momma

When she’s sick all night and no one sleeps

When I’m utterly exhausted by it all 

When she leaves chocolates on my pillow 

When I sing the Goodnight Bubba Song off key 

When she cracks the perfect joke 

When she blasts Taylor Swift in the car 

When we don’t have the answers 

When we know we got it wrong 

When everything just feels right 

When time flies like they said it would, I prayed for this.

Summer Series: Tips for Bath Time Safety

To wrap up our three-part Summer Series on water safety, we are dipping into tips to keep your little one protected during bath time. The first few baths for your newborn can be daunting, but before you know it, you’ll be in the splash zone with a toddler and dodging all sorts of potential hazards. These reminders for bath time will build your confidence and help to keep your baby safe and happy. 

Prepare Ahead of Time

Before you are ready to give your child a bath, gather everything you will need and place it within reach of the bath. Babies and toddlers should never be left unattended in the bath or near a tub of water, even just for a second. You may want to gather towels, washcloths, shampoo, baby soap and a cup or hair washing pitcher like this one. We like to keep at least the clean diaper right there in the bathroom, to avoid any post-bath potty accidents on the clean towel. Carry your little one in a dry towel to the changing table or a safe spot to get them dressed, once they are dry and diapered. 

Stay Focused on Your Baby

Be sure to keep your eyes on the baby the entire time the tub is filling with water, they are bathing and until the tub is drained. Try to avoid taking calls, getting distracted by your phone or multitasking. If you do need to leave the room, wrap the baby in a towel and take them with you. These reminders are not only for safety, but also to let bath time be a time for bonding. We bond with our babies through caregiving tasks like baths, diaper changing and dressing. Bath toys can be fun and a great distraction for little ones who don’t love to bathe. Take this time to connect, sing songs, and play while your little one is alert and engaged. 

Prevent Accidents

Children can drown in as little as 1 inch of water- they only need as much water as it would take to cover their little nose and mouth. Stay attentive, support their head if your baby is still small and be diligent with water temperature. The water should be comfortably warm, but not hot. You can test the temperature on your elbow or inner forearm and if the baby is in the tub while the water is running, always turn off the hot tap first, then the cold. We like to line baby bathtubs or bath supports with a wet towel to prevent the baby from slipping down. You can even lightly swaddle their arms as newborns to keep their startle reflex from making them jump and slip. Stay with babies and older children until the tub has fully drained and consider buying safeguards like this faucet cover to prevent accidental burns, drowning or injuries. 

What other tips would you add to keep bath time safe and fun?

Summer Series: Tips for Open-Water Safety

In part two of our Summer Series on water safety, I’ll jump into open-water tips. We tend to worry the most about the youngest kids on the water, but drowning rates for teens triple when they reach age 15. Teenagers can be just as fearless as preschoolers and more likely to take big risks when playing in open-water. If you are boating on Lake Lewisville, wading into the coast of South Texas or flying off for a tropical vacation at the beach, these helpful reminders will keep you on your toes. 

Know Water Conditions

Whether you are on a crystal clear beach in Cancun or on one of the more murky North Texas Lakes, water conditions can vary and change every day. If you are vacationing on the coast in Galveston or even all the way down in Mexico on the Gulf, rip currents can be hard to spot from the shore and pose a big risk for drowning, even for experienced swimmers. Know the condition of the water before going in for even just a dip. 

Life Jackets

The most crucial thing to remember on open-water is the importance of life jackets or personal flotation devices (PFDs). Growing up as a kid with an active-duty Coast Guard Dad meant that life jackets were non-negotiable, even as a teenager hanging out with experienced boaters. If a life jacket isn’t stamped with “United States Coast Guard Approved” or “USCG Approved”, it is not safe and can mean the difference between a fun day on the water and tragedy. If you have a lake house, boat or are even just visiting the beach, enforce a “toe in/vest on” rule so anyone going near the water has an approved life vest on. 

Lifeguards and Water-Watchers

The best choice would be to find lakefronts and beaches that have lifeguards working, but that isn’t always possible. Just like with pool safety, when you are on open-water, designate water-watchers who are sober, not distracted and able to take breaks from watching the water. It might be helpful to have them wear a wristband or take shifts with other adults to watch the water and everyone in it. Be sure that no one jumps in to save someone in distress who can’t swim themself, or there will be two people in need of rescue. 

Just like in our first post of the Summer Series: Tips for Pool Safety, I can’t stress enough the importance of early and effective swimming lessons for children. As soon as they are old enough, usually around age 4, swimming lessons can add a great deal of protection. Our little one has been in swimming lessons in Allen/McKinney since she was 3 at Life Time and loves the small class sizes. I love that they have swim classes for all ages, even adults. 

What else would you add as a safety tip for boating, lake days or beach vacations?

Summer Series: Tips for Pool Safety

The long weeks of Spring rain have left the area and we’re back to normal sunny days in North Texas. As we head back to the pool, days on Lake Lewisville or beach vacations, it’s a good time to refresh your ideas of water safety for your family. This will start our three-part Summer series on water safety, where we will cover safety for the pool, open water and bathtime. These are some of the best tips for pool safety and children:

Lifeguards and Water-Watchers

A common misconception is that more adults means children are safer, when the opposite is true. The more adults present, the more likely everyone is to assume someone else is watching the water.

The best option is to have a lifeguard on-duty, but if there isn’t one available, designate a water-watcher who is an adult who can swim themself. Whether it’s an inflatable kids pool in the backyard or the neighborhood swimming pool, there should always be an adult watching the water and children while they play. Drowning is often silent and can happen in an instant, so assign an adult for 15 minutes who won’t take their eyes off the pool, then switch adults so everyone has time to relax. Set an alarm or grab a wrist band to hand off and take turns watching the water.

Floaties and Swimming Lessons

Water wings, puddle jumpers and pool floats are not a substitute for swimming lessons and teaching water safety. Our little ones don’t have the impulse control to avoid jumping in one last time when they don’t want to leave the pool, even if you have taken their puddle jumper off and are packing your bags. 1-4 year olds are the most at risk for drowning, so stay within arm’s reach and as soon as it’s age appropriate (usually around age 4), enroll your child in swimming lessons. Even after they are a solid swimmer, still keep watching them closely in the water. The U.S. Coast Guard recommends approved personal flotation devices (not floaties or water wings) for everyone on open bodies of water, regardless of swim skills. Remember, anything that floats and is filled with air is a toy, not a life-saving device. 

Safest Swimsuit Colors

Some colors of swimsuits are easier to spot in the water, especially if a child is in danger at the bottom of the pool. If the water is moving or agitated, they can be even harder to see, especially in colors like white, black, blue or gray. When shopping for swimsuits for kids, take it back to the 80’s and try to find bright colors like neon orange, lime green or hot pink. 

When you hit the pool this Summer, talk to your kids about pool safety and remember the rules for swimming. Texas leads the country in child pool drownings and that’s not a title we want to keep. Lifeguard your little ones and stay vigilant. We’ll be back next week with safety tips for lakes, oceans and open bodies of water. For homeowner pool safety, follow this link to get ideas from the experts at Cook Children's Hospital in Fort Worth. 

Raising Children as a Parent with a Disability

This week we have a guest writer, Ashley Taylor from DisabledParents.org. She is an incredible resource for families navigating parenthood while living with a disability or chronic condition. She had this to say about preparing for a baby and caring creating a safe and nurturing home: 

Raising a kid is hard enough, even for people with stable finances and a family network to help with childcare. But raising a child as a parent with a disability – whether that means a cognitive impairment, being wheelchair-bound, or living with chronic pain – can prove nearly impossible at times. Yet by some estimates, between 4.1 million and 9 million parents with disabilities in the US do it every day. If you have a disability and you’re expecting a child, here are some tips to prepare your life and home for parenthood.

Resources

Numerous “associations, councils, centers, and societies” across the country provide resources for parents or families with disabilities. (This is in addition to blogs, conferences, teaching tips, children’s books, and financial aid opportunities.) These include the Family Resource Center on Disabilities, the National Learning Center for Learning Disabilities, and the National Association of Parents with Children in Special Education (NAPCSE). Still other databases list child care services, health tips for parents, mental health counseling, transportation for families, and money management tips. Drawing on these advocacy programs may take time, but they’re here for you.

Reaching Out to Friends & Family

Who else is here for you? Family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, nannies, or anyone else in your support network. Consider joining a church or a disabilities center to widen your personal community. Ideally, you should have a bevy of people you feel comfortable asking for assistance; this might include babysitters you trust to watch your kids as well as your parents, siblings, or other family members who could stay with you through a night. Fellow worshippers from your church, mosque or synagogue may be willing to bring meals over for you when you’re busy. 

Remaking Your House

As a new parent, and as someone with a disability, where you live is important, so look around. You’ll need easy access to your child and your child’s nursery, especially since you may already have to deal with your own restricted ambulation. If you’re in a wheelchair, for example, you may want to replace some of your steps – either outside or in – with a ramp. Another spatial adjustment to consider is buying hinges for doorways and installing skid-resistant flooring to prevent slips. Porcelain tiling is dense and solid, and provides good slip-resistance, or you could just put down mats and carpets. They may not always be aesthetically pleasing, but they will lower the chance of anyone in your home taking a spill.

Granted, some of the remodeling tips above are doable only for people who either have a house or disposable income to tear down walls and put in flooring. If those renovation options aren’t available to you, think about moving in with someone you trust whose space is more conducive to your needs. If that’s not possible, draw on all the helplines and resources at your disposal. These might include social networks, websites that promote awareness about disabilities, and family groups and community engagement centers for children and families who have disabilities.

Preparing for parenthood is challenging for everyone. But when you’ve already spent years developing habits for navigating through the world with cognitive issues or difficulty walking or moving around, adapting your world to meet the needs of another – and helpless – human being can be overwhelming. Be sure to adjust your living situation in such a way that lets you nurture your child as deeply and comfortably as possible.

5 Tips for Your First Outing With a New Baby

Pregnancy and birth are (barely) behind you and you’re adjusting to life with a newborn at home. Maybe you’ve found your daily routine or you’re still trying to figure out how to do life with this needy, adorable baby bird. At some point, most new parents just need out of the house and they’re ready to take the new baby on their first big outing. These tips will help to make that adventure a little less stressful.

1.     Pack the diaper bag the night before.

Make sure you have plenty of diapers, wipes and clean clothes. In the early months, 2-3 changes of clothes for the baby aren’t a bad idea. If you’re bottle feeding, take enough formula or breast milk for the feedings you’ll need, and maybe one extra. If you’re breastfeeding and like to use a cover, pack that too. I always kept a change of clothes for myself in my car too, because babies don’t care about your “I’m going out in public and want to look human” outfit.

2.     Make it a low-pressure outing.

Try to choose something that doesn’t require getting out of the house by certain time. Give yourself plenty of time to get ready and to get the baby ready, allowing for surprise diapers, long feedings or an unexpected bath. A walk through downtown McKinney with lunch at Spoons Cafe or even just a quick trip to Target can be enough.

3.     Practice using your stroller or baby carrier at home first.

I’ll never forget struggling with a brand-new jogging stroller in a parking lot, while snow (yes, in Texas) hit me in the face and the baby cried in her car seat. Take your stroller on a practice walk around the house or down the street. Learn how to fold it, strap the baby in and where to put your things. If you plan to wear your baby, practice using your carrier at home so you’re a pro with it when you’re out in public. We really like the ease of Lille carriers and they’re not bad on your lower back either.

4.     Be mindful of germs, especially during flu season.

Be sure to ask your baby’s pediatrician if they are healthy enough to go out in public just yet. You can wear your baby and tuck their hands in, to keep well-meaning strangers from touching them, or use an open-top car seat cover like this one, since it can double as a nursing cover and is breathable. Wash your hands often and wipe down shopping cart handles.

5.     Treat yourself while you’re out.

Go find something that makes you happy. Grab your favorite coffee from Snug on the Square, a cup of that great soup at Harvest or a new lipstick if that’s your thing. Getting out and about with a new baby is hard work sometimes, so reward yourself. If you want to make it even easier on yourself, take your postpartum doula with you. She can help you feel confident, hold the baby while you shop and make sure you’re taken care of while you take care of your little one.

Where was your first outing with your new baby?

New Parents, You Are So Brave

As I look back on the last year and reflect on all of the families who welcomed new babies, I keep coming back to the word brave. As doulas we get to see bravery come in so many different forms and it’s striking even in the simplest moments. New parents, you are so brave.

You struggled to get pregnant or stay pregnant. 

You were surprised by a pregnancy. 

You weathered pregnancy complications that were painful and scary. 

You breathed through one more contraction when you thought you couldn’t do it anymore.

You pushed one more time when you were absolutely exhausted and your baby was born.

You laid down in a cold operating room and endured major surgery to bring your baby into the world.

You joined the millions of parents who came before you.

You watched as your partner coped with pain you had never seen before and you trusted her instincts.

You asked for help when you just wanted to be able to do it by yourself.

You fed your baby from your body.

You gave your baby formula when it wasn’t your plan, so she would grow.

You pressed on when you lost everything in your birth plan.

You took beautiful care of your new baby through exhaustion and frustration.

You set boundaries for your new family and limited visitors when you needed to.

You knew your limits and you made hard choices.

You went back to work when you just wanted to stay home with your baby a little longer.

Every day in big and little ways, you are brave for your family and it’s an honor to get to witness that as your doula. On days where it feels like you can’t possibly keep at it or things aren’t going the way you imagined, reframe your thinking and own the ways you have been brave.