You Can Hate Pregnancy and Still Love Your Baby

I want to share what might not be a popular opinion but should be a healthy dose of validation for a lot of people. You can hate pregnancy and still love your baby. Disliking pregnancy or complaining about common pregnancy problems and being grateful for your baby are NOT mutually exclusive. 

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We hear it and see it often in different mom groups on Facebook, criticism for women who are honest about how they are feeling in pregnancy, venting about discomfort or morning sickness or ready to be done. “She should be grateful she was able to get pregnant…at least her baby is healthy and still growing…if she can’t handle this, just wait until the baby gets here…what did she expect?” Cut it out, friends. It’s not our place to tell someone how they should or should not feel, even if we think we know their story. Pregnancy is hard. It’s really hard and it’s ok to not love it. It’s ok to view it as a means to an end. 

As a mom who lost her first baby, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to complain about my subsequent pregnancy complications. I had never wanted anything more than I wanted to be a mother, so when pregnancy didn't come easy for me, I struggled. I had seen the posts in my loss community and I felt like if I was honest about how miserably sick I was or how much pain I was in, I would be met with judgment or even anger because I was able to get pregnant and I did get a healthy baby. There was so much fear and I had so many pregnancy complications, but those things didn’t negate my gratitude or excitement for my baby. Even with the people in my life who I felt safe enough to be honest, I feared they thought I wasn’t excited or wasn’t ready to have a baby. 

If you feel yourself holding back and not asking for support for fear of being judged, know that it is perfectly normal to not enjoy pregnancy and to complain sometimes. You are allowed to complain whether you have had a loss or not, whether this is your first or your fourth baby, whether your pregnancies were planned or not, whether it took years of trying, fertility treatments or just a honeymoon to get pregnant. It is not a reflection of how you feel about your baby. You deserve validation and to be heard. You deserve nonjudgmental support during your pregnancy and to be able to be honest about where you are right now. 

We are here to listen. 

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Preeclampsia, formerly known as toxemia or pregnancy induced hypertension is seen in at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, according to the Preeclampsia Foundation. It is a pregnancy related syndrome that affects the liver, kidneys and red blood cells. During pregnancy, your doctor or midwife is checking for high blood pressure and testing for protein in your urine, to monitor for signs of preeclampsia. The risks of eclampsia are seizures, coma and death so prenatal screening can help your provider monitor things and form a treatment plan if necessary.

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Missed The Boat...Why I Should Have Been Floating in Pregnancy!

I am always looking for things that will make my clients lives a little easier and help them to really focus on self-care during and after pregnancy. Last week I met Ray Thoma, the owner of The Float Spot in Frisco, Texas. I told him I wanted to learn more about floating and to try it myself before I recommended it to clients. I did a one-hour float and now I'm sold! For that hour, I had none of my usual back pain, I got to truly clock out and rest and I didn't have to care about a thing. 

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Some women like me, know before they ever get pregnant they will have to be on anticoagulation (blood thinning) therapy, like Lovenox injections during pregnancy. Others have never heard of it and can be scared when they think about having to give themselves injections every day. Lovenox can be prescribed for a variety of reasons. For me, it was a history of a DVT, deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) in my leg. My DVT was a postoperative complication of my spinal fusion surgery, but once you have had a clot, you are at risk to have another. So for me, that meant 546 injections in my stomach over 39 weeks to get my baby here as safely as possible. Factor V Leiden thrombophilia in pregnancy and history of some pregnancy losses or fertility treatments are also reasons a woman might be put on anticoagulation like Lovenox. Pregnancy increases a woman’s risk of blood clots and they can be detrimental if they travel to her heart, her brain, the baby’s placenta or the umbilical cord. Although it can be intimidating, if your obstetrician or midwife prescribes Lovenox or anticoagulation therapy, it is because the risk of a clot outweighs the risk of the medication in your pregnancy.

 

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Pregnancy is a pretty amazing feat, but it’s not always easy. It can be downright uncomfortable, clumsy and painful sometimes. I had a double whammy of being pregnant with a lumbar spinal fusion. I remember thinking my body couldn’t possibly handle one more unexpected change I had to google, and then I was hit with a few things I couldn’t even pronounce. I became a pro at finding things that make life easier during pregnancy. These are my top 5 favorites.

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I have had the pleasure of getting to know Dr. Amber Galipp over the last year and I can’t sing her praises enough. I found her while I was pregnant myself and searching for a Webster Technique certified chiropractor. She has taken such good care of my entire family. She owns Legacy Family Chiropractic in McKinney and provides chiropractic care for all ages, specializing in pregnancy. I asked her to tell us a little bit about her practice and the benefits of chiropractic care. 

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Why would I need bed rest?

Bed rest is a pretty general term, usually used to address a need for limiting activities. It can mean different things for different people, but is often categorized into moderate bed rest, strict bed rest and hospital bed rest. Bed rest is not a proven form of prevention for pregnancy complications or preterm birth, but if your doctor has recommended it for you, it can be used as an added layer of safety and protection in some situations. Bed rest is often prescribed for varying periods of time in cases of high blood pressure in pregnancy, pregnancy with multiples, cervical changes or vaginal bleeding in pregnancy and sometimes even for pain in pregnancy.

 

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